Sound Advice

Cove Island Park on Long Island Sound, Stamford, CT

I feel lucky to live near Cove Island Park on Long Island Sound in Connecticut. Since moving to Stamford 30 years ago, my husband and I have clocked countless hours there – skipping stones, walking the looping paths with our dogs, kayaking, and gazing at Fourth of July fireworks. Our children played on the playground, learned all about the Sound's ecosystem, and fished there.

It's the same place every time. Yet, like everything in nature, it's different minute to minute. From the pedestrian bridges that lead to the island, we always watch the tide going in or out underneath. I love seeing the leaves change every season: the stark branches against the winter sky, the green buds that burst us into spring, the heavy leaves of summer and the riotous reds and golds of autumn. In warm weather, we check out the docked boats.

Recently we were fascinated by the crane and barge dredging up the dock area. They removed the piers, so the inlet was empty most of this winter. As they began installing new piers, we watched the gigantic clamp swing long posts into position. Four workers guided them into metal rings, then drilled them into the ground to hold them into place.

While observing the process, I considered how each pier needs a lot of support and enough flexibility to adjust to the tides. Posts tether each pier to the ground. Yet as you step onto a dock you can feel it bouncing on the water. To get comfortable on the pier, you need to find your sea legs.

When we enter crisis, everything becomes a little unstable. Physically, mentally, and emotionally, we find ourselves unmoored and off balance. We may need to lean on posts while we gain our sea legs. What might those pillars include?

• Other People: Friends, family members, medical personnel, therapists, community groups, social workers, and/or a Crisis Navigation Partner®
• Rest: Prioritize sleep, even when it's tempting to stay up all night worrying or "doing"
• Self-Care: Anything that brings relief! Some examples:
  • Immersing yourself in water (showers, baths, waterfalls, the ocean, etc.)
  • Meditating
  • Stretching
  • Walking (or other exercise), especially in nature
  • Reading
  • Making a cup of tea and savoring its warmth, smell, and taste
  • Laughing - tune in to anything that makes you really, really laugh
  • Watching a favorite TV show or movie or listening to music
  • Talking with family or friends, a therapist, a medical professional, an online or in-person support group, or a Crisis Navigation Partner®

Personally, I practice 4-7-8 Breathing in the car and shower. (Breathe in for a count of 4. Hold for a count of 7. Breathe out for a count of 8. Repeat as time allows.) While 4-7-8 Breathing never resolves the root cause of my stress, I rely on my practice to calm my heart rate and brain.

As Crisis Navigation Partners®, Debra, Maria and I encourage you to identify your own pillars now. Don't wait until your rockiest moment to start installing them! If yours have decayed, drill new ones into the ground to benefit you in the short-term. Any mostly consistent self-care practice(s) will build "muscle memory" for when you need to lean the most. Regular visits to new or old sturdy pillars will make them easier to grab onto when the waves around you start to grow. The more pillars you have, the faster you will stabilize. Finding your sea legs will decrease your sense of helplessness and empower you to be more helped or helpful.

Cove Island Park always brings me joy. I am grateful for the hundreds of hours we've spent there. Along with 4-7-8 breathing, I prescribe it for stress relief. What do you prescribe for your most challenging moments? Post a reminder list on your mirror or your fridge, then share in the comments below!

If you'd like to talk with a Crisis Navigation Partner®, schedule your complimentary consultation. We'd love to explore any ways we can help.